I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
