why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
