I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
