we have officially lost it.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
