Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We need to rekindle our bromance
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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