If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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