Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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