Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
