...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
