her vagine was all disorganized.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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