were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
