There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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