put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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