Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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