I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
