super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
