didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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