Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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