First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
