So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Actions speak louder than pants.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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