She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
