I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
