North Korea, Best Korea!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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