So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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