Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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