i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
