I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
