it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
