Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  Thanks for throwing up on me.

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  (859): I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night. (1-859): Thanks for throwing up on me. http://tfl.nu/msvj
  Replies (3) Good night (519) Bad night (1090)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.

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  (709): just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq. http://tfl.nu/wl24
  Replies (16) Good night (4911) Bad night (608)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.

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  (570): there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line. http://tfl.nu/z4vy
  Replies (23) Good night (717) Bad night (3847)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  her facebook's as public as her vagina

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  (803): her facebook's as public as her vagina http://tfl.nu/w3ii
  Replies (43) Good night (3142) Bad night (2521)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.

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  (732): I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there. http://tfl.nu/dxiw
  Replies (7) Good night (3932) Bad night (1115)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.

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  (216): oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs. http://tfl.nu/udb9
  Replies (28) Good night (708) Bad night (6047)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.

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  (202): the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other. http://tfl.nu/vc7e
  Replies (25) Good night (5049) Bad night (2234)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman

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  (571): every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman http://tfl.nu/7ssg
  Replies (6) Good night (3872) Bad night (899)
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  (209): View more from California

  she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.

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  (209): she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer. http://tfl.nu/2qfw
  Replies (8) Good night (764) Bad night (4356)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast

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  (202): I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast http://tfl.nu/11fz
  Replies (13) Good night (1938) Bad night (1131)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.

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  (309): This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend. http://tfl.nu/skkm
  Replies (9) Good night (1734) Bad night (504)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah

  (772): View more from Florida

  I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.

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  (614): My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah (772): I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade. http://tfl.nu/tvrh
  Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (580)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is

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  (306): For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is http://tfl.nu/ppgp
  Replies (8) Good night (730) Bad night (339)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later

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  (414): Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later http://tfl.nu/j0j8
  Replies (3) Good night (381) Bad night (385)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.

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  (423): So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class. http://tfl.nu/xrt7
  Replies (5) Good night (739) Bad night (184)

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