Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.

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(905): View more from Toronto

the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.

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(213): View more from California

Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.

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(913): View more from Kansas

his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(708): View more from Illinois

I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat

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(540): View more from Virginia

Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.

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