With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
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once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
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I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!