Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago

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(651): View more from Minnesota

nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again

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(719): View more from Colorado

No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right

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(587): View more from Alberta

Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".

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