Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
