So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My cat gives me a boner
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
