and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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