i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
