Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
