Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
