as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
