Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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