Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
