You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
