I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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