Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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