Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
