just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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