I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
a search helicopter?!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
