please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
