You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
