the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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