I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
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