I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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