I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize