insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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