I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
