She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
