I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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