.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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