I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
