this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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