Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize