Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I need moral support for this bender
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
