We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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