whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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