he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
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I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
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Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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