PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
