you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
